One of the reasons I rarely post in my orange journal these days is that I get a lot of "server busy" sorts of messages on that account.

One of the things I wanted to post there was a quote from, well, me: "I know I have grown since July. But I don't know how much, if it's enough. I don't know if it will ever be enough, or if I will ever be satisfied with it. But I desperately want to be."

But, since this journal isn't orange enough, it shall not be explained here.

There were other quotes as well.

"I feel like I'm suddenly being *almost*-offered everything I've ever wanted, on two different plates." This is still/again true. Same plates. A third, even.

But I no longer think it's impossible to choose a few bites off of this plate, a few off of that one.

I'm not that girl anymore. I barely remember her. Example: "I didn't tell people where my favorite spot to be kissed is so they could take advantage of it and leave me feeling manipulated."

I have a vague memory of this event, but I'm not quite certain who it was in reference to, or even what spot I was referring to.

I find that sad. Mainly because I don't think I *have* a favorite spot anymore.