I can't believe it's been so long since I updated my song journal that it got taken down.

I'm still all mixed up, emotionally.

I'm quitting my job, which I've never done before, and I'm doing it very irresponsibly, without having anything to move on to. It's scary.

But necessary, for, like, sanity, and such.

It's weird how people are reacting. Most are happy for me, sad for themselves/the company. I've had two of the four senior managers call me into their offices to talk to me about it. One offered to fight for me to get some things changed, more $ -- but it would've involved me working even MORE with the one person there that I really cannot stand, and who stresses me out just by looking in my direction. I declined.

I told them all that I've got another job, to make it easier all around.

I consented to working as a consultant on the manuals, if management approves. The manuals are, after all, my babies.

One guy seemed *mad* at me for leaving, someone I didn't expect.

And, next week is the company's corporate conference, and once again, I was deemed "non-essential" so I'm not going, much like last year. But this week was still so busy that TWO WHOLE DAYS went by without me playing a single game of solitaire.

And next week is going to be dead. My boss told us to bring books, card games, computer games, whatever, because it's going to be slow. So long as the phones get answered, she doesn't care.

And I did come to the computer to write, but not about this.

I've realized (not for the first time....) that one of the reasons I've been rather depressive lately is that I haven't got anyone to talk to about some things. Some of my friends are great and entertaining and such, but just not good listeners lately. Other friends I just haven't seen much of. So it's making me feel pretty alone a lot.

But that isn't why I sat down to write, either.

My song journal is back up. I'm looking at the list of songs I've posted there, and it's a damn good list of songs, as far as I'm concerned -- a soundtrack for my life, for the most part.

I have a couple of songs going through me tonight. One's been buzzing around for a few weeks now -- I even wrote a few of my own lines to it, which I wrote down while I was at work and so they are still there. I haven't actually listened to it in months, but it still applies. The lyrics are already posted once, but... I think I'll repost them, as well as a song that I'm surprised isn't already there, but is being added now. Anyway, if my song journal ever does come back up (with the new entries in it and all), the appropriate link would be this one. If.

Me? Pathetic? Maybe, but I don't care.

And that IS what I came here to say. (The song stuff, that is. :b. )