John's parents may be stopping over tonight after the concert they're going to with John.

It's hard to think, to remember what might be objectionable. Ethical Slut, Screw the Roses, SM101, and other such books are hidden... I don't *see* anything else that might raise eyebrows or questions, but at this point, I'm so used to them that I might not be seeing them.

In the process of cleaning up, I opened the plastic tub that's been sitting around since I got back from Michigan.

Everything I own is now in New Jersey.

That tub is full things I used to collect. The Beanie Babies I collected (mostly only cats, a few McDonald's ones). All of the other cat stuff I used to display. The brown swirly stuff.

There are also a lot of memories in there. A few photographs. Love letters from Tony in high school. The promise ring Oliver had given me, which I gave back to him when we broke up, and he left in my jewelry box with a note that says, "Just remember".

*********************

From "Alcestis on the Poetry Circuit" by Erica Mann Jong

The best slave
does not need to be beaten.
She beats herself.

Not with a leather whip,
or with stick or twigs,
not with a blackjack
or a billyclub,
but with the fine whip
of her own tongue
& the subtle beating
of her mind
against her mind.

For who can hate her half so well
as she hates herself?
& who can match the finesse
of her self-abuse?

Years of training
are required for this.
Twenty years
of subtle self-indulgence,
self-denial;
until the subject
thinks herself a queen
& yet a beggar --
both at the same time.
She must doubt herself
in everything but love.